Hole in the Wall
by Raegun
Summary: An epilogue of sorts for the second season. Ciel, now a fully-fledged demon, is forced to come to terms with a part of his past; a part he never thought he'd see again. Full-out feelings jam. Ciel/Alois. Will continue if there is a demand for it.


Ciel sat, a master of his own world, a pariah of Hell. Rarely ever was a human converted, but here he was, sitting in the dining room of the shadow of the Phantomhive estate. It was a perfect copy of the original, lit eerily on the inside by the red sky and black sun. It was completely empty, aside from his butler and himself. Nobody ever visited, nobody ever wondered. And all those on the earthly plane that knew the earl were fading into old age or dead and gone. Occasionally he thought of Lizzy, the dear girl so full of life and hope. She would never see him again and the love she saved for him would never reach him here. A cold existence, streaked only by the endless game of passive aggressive rivalry Ciel engaged in with his butler.

Tonight was a special night. For years Ciel had resisted all temptations to devour any person's soul, but that temptation had grown too strong and in an instant the last fleeting scrap of Ciel's humanity was gone. So now he sat, at the head of the long dining table. The chairs that lined it were never filled, the china and silverware on the table never used, and the bouquet in the center wilted away. Ciel had specifically instructed Sebastian to never change those flowers. Why exactly was never stated. Perhaps they were a symbol of mourning, of the passing of Ciel's days in the living creature that was London. War had broken out now, and bombs fell over the city, but Ciel never heard them in Hell.

So, he sat, contemplating the fine wrinkles that had curled the petals, the shade of brown that had spread over the pure white, the few shriveled petals that had escaped down to the starched tablecloth. But try as he might, he couldn't draw his mind away from that moment of an hour ago, the life he stole with his own hands. This was a horrible fate, a lonely world. He understood now why Sebastian was so enamored with the lives of humans. But Ciel couldn't be bothered to appear to them. Too complicated. The day-to-day lives of others never piqued his interest very much.

Soft footsteps fell behind him, signaling the approach of the butler. The demon child turned to look upon his trusted-companion-turned-rival, his face devoid of any of the painful emotions plaguing him at that moment.

"My lord." Sebastian bowed deeply, "I will escort you to bed now." Ciel rose to his feet and turned to follow. They passed through familiar hallways, turning up stairs to reach Ciel's master suite. The door at the end of the hall felt farther than ever. As Ciel made his way to it, a strange sensation made a shiver pass down his spine. A new, and unpleasant feeling bit into his bones.

"Sebastian," He said calmly, "Is there something you forgot to tell me? Something amiss?" Perhaps it was too obvious that he was nervous, fearing his consumption of a soul was producing side-effects. Sebastian said nothing until he reached Ciel's door.

"Do you ever see it?" he said, not facing his master.

"See what? What are you talking about?" Ciel hadn't the patience for this. Sebastian was never forthcoming with answers to anything.

"The door. The door in the corner of your eye. The one you know is there, but you don't want to look at. The hole in the wall that isn't merely just a hole in the wall. Maybe you can perceive it better now."

Cryptic as usual, Ciel decided, marching into his room without a response.

It didn't matter that this was Hell, the linens still smelled as fresh as ever. With all the luxury he could ever wish for, Ciel didn't know how he could ever feel so ill at ease. He was never purely happy. There was always something bothering him, whether it was remnants of his past or the constant itch of revenge that he still felt hadn't been scratched. Ciel wondered if he'd ever truly be at rest. As of right now, he could not sleep. Someone was crying. Soft sobs slipped under the door like mice, echoing the sense of sorrow Ciel was currently embodying. He found himself pitying the source of the sobs, wondering why he could hear them in the first place. He stayed in his bed for a few minutes, waiting for the sound to stop. It did not.

Ciel tore out of bed, redressed himself, and darted out into the corridor. He stood in the middle of the bulb-lit room, spinning around and waiting to see the source of the crying. But it wasn't there. Frustrated, he combed the left wall thoroughly, pressing his cheek to the cold paint and splaying his fingers over its surface as he walked down it. Still, no sign of anything. But the sound was certainly close.

Then, he remembered was Sebastian said. A trickle of fear ran through his heart. What could he be possibly afraid of seeing? What could hurt him so badly? The butler could only be toying with him, as per usual, but even as Ciel thought this he noticed it. In his peripheral vision there was a door on the opposite wall, set into an alcove. The handle was tarnished and the paint peeling. Ciel locked his eyes on to it, turning slowly and hoping it wouldn't disappear. The door stayed where it was, and Ciel advanced to it, hearing the sobs getting clearer. With a steady hand, he turned the handle and pushed it open. The light of the hallway did not penetrate the darkness within. Ciel groped along the inside wall for a switch, and found it successfully. Flipping it illuminated a single lamp. It was tall and rested on the floor, its base made up of Chinese porcelain. All other furniture was pushed against the far wall and covered in a layer of dust. Ciel shut the door behind him just before he noticed the one who was crying. There he was, sitting in a chair. The one that couldn't have been there. It was simply impossible.

He had his hands over his eyes as he cried, his tears beginning to slow now that there was light. His slender body shook slightly and he wiped away the tears with the deep purple of his jacket sleeve. Though his face was stained with countless days' worth of tears, he was still as alluring as Ciel remembered him (though he didn't care to admit it). The boy's blond hair and clothing had collected dust as well, suggesting the time that had passed. Ciel stood amazed and confused, a bit of familiar anger rising at the sight of his old enemy.

"It's you…" he murmured, standing his ground.

"It's you." Alois echoed, raising his head to face Ciel. A heartbroken smile crossed his face, all the affliction of the past rising to the surface in his mind. With a bit of a choking noise, the departed soul clutched himself, trying to keep himself in check.

"You found me." Alois began to look greatly relieved, sliding down a little in his chair and letting his eyes close. Ciel couldn't find words. His mouth opened and shut as he labored to speak.

"How are you here? What happened to you?" he demanded, staring at the other boy pointedly.

"She lied. Lied to me. He's not here and I'll never see him again. She's gone now too. Now I'm always alone, in the dark. I wish I couldn't still feel." The blond boy said weakly, his words falling out of his mouth in quick succession. He opened his eyes, returning Ciel's stare. "You know the truth now, don't you? You know the truth, right? So help me please!"

It was all too much for Ciel to handle. He pressed his back to the door, calculating.

"Stop. Just stop. Being enigmatic is not you. What 'truth'? Who's 'he'?" he implored, fighting to stay calm. Alois slunk out of his chair and stood next to it, leaning sideways on the back rest. He'd stopped crying now, so deeply distracted by Ciel's presence. He still appeared clearly upset, barely holding himself together by a thread.

"You and I…" he began, "Are the same. I told you that once, a long time ago before I died. I died because I was too stupid to see that trusting someone is pointless. Claude killed me in the end. Did you know that? I loved him and trusted him just about more than anything and he threw me away like I was worth nothing. But you see, I needed to love him. I needed to trust him. I had nobody else. You know what it's like, don't you Ciel? When you're in a world of despair you'll do anything to escape it. I sold my soul to find peace and you did too. But we'll never find rest because we've been lied to."

Alois let the words sink in. He brushed his fingers through his hair, clearing away the dust. His hands still shook endlessly. Ciel took a tentative step forward.

"But… You and I are nothing alike. You haven't the faintest of what I've gone through. How dare you assume so!" he asserted, feeling the falseness of his words the second they slipped off his tongue. The hurt in Alois' voice was enough to know the truth.

"You don't know what I've been through either! And Ciel, I've wanted to tell you so badly. In the dark here, I thought of you. I wanted to speak to you, to be near you, to say to you everything that happened to me. Because I knew you'd understand and perhaps give me a tiny bit of your sympathy. I wish I never tried to hurt you. I'm so sorry! I didn't know anything. Claude was the one who told me… Who said Sebastian killed my brother. If I knew then what I knew now nothing would have gone this way. Please just listen to me! I'm begging you!" Alois had moved closer to Ciel as he spoke, his voice becoming more and more strained as he talked, on the verge of hysterics yet again. Ciel was frozen in place, each syllable like a bullet to the stomach. At this point objecting would be unfair. A part of him was close to tears too, quietly recollecting the events of his childhood that brought him here in the first place. All the loss, and the humiliation, and the bloodshed came boiling to the surface and a single tear fell involuntarily from the corner of his eye. Alois recognized the change in Ciel's face and sank to his knees, choking on fresh tears. His hands clenched on the hem of Ciel's blazer. It was a scene of overpowering deja vu for the pair of them.

"Ciel…" he choked, his entire body heaving, "I'll tell you everything. I need you… I need you to understand!" It was in that moment that Ciel wished more than anything to stop Alois' crying. It made him ache so deeply, seeing those tears fall. He lowered himself to the floor as well, so that he could be eye to eye with the other boy.

"Alois, please calm yourself. Speak to your heart's content if you must. There's no need to cry anymore." Ciel whispered shakily. Alois' grip had moved to Ciel's shoulders. He sniffled loudly, his grasp tightening as he attempted to control himself.

"I wasn't always Alois Trancy." He started, "Once I was an orphan in a town of horrible people with nobody but my brother. His name was Luka. I wish you could have seen his smile, Ciel. He was so happy even though all we knew was hardship. I hated those people! I wished they would all just drop like flies! And Luka made my wish come true. I didn't know it, but he gave his soul too. He gave his soul just to make me happy. He gave it to Hanna and he died. I lost him forever. He was my whole world." Alois paused, his voice cracking slightly. He rubbed away the tears again, and continued.

"Then I was brought to the Trancy manor with a bunch of other boys. The Lord Trancy was the scum of the Earth, Ciel. You would have hated him just as much as me. Nobody as vile has ever existed. Demons are tame compared to the monster he was. He abused us for his own selfish, twisted desires. I haven't a clue of how I survived. But then Claude appeared to me, and with his help I… I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. Things almost as equally twisted. I let the Lord Trancy have me. I enticed him. I did it all to step in and take his title when we killed him." Alois' bitter voice rang in Ciel's ears. He spoke with so much hate in his voice, all the same hate Ciel had felt before.

"I know this all too well. I know your rage, your hatred, your wish for justice to be served to those who hurt you. Don't cry anymore, Alois. It's done. Nobody can hurt us now." Ciel used every bit of self-control he had left to keep himself from falling to pieces like the boy in front of him. He did so with difficulty, the profound nature of the situation catching him off-guard. Never before had he met anyone able to convey such anguish so similar to himself. Ciel could hardly express himself without feeling self-conscious, but it almost felt like Alois was doing it for him. The use of the word "us" had caught Alois off-guard as well. He locked eyes with the demon, a shaky smile twisting his expression.

"Yes… Yes." He breathed, "And we're not alone anymore."

"Never again." Ciel found himself saying, as Alois slumped forward to hide his face against Ciel's chest. Being near to the other boy made him slightly uncomfortable, but he let it be for the sake of the moment. The blond's body was so cold, almost like a corpse. Pity welled up in Ciel's stomach, overflowing in the form of silent tears, falling freely now that Alois could not witness them. He held his body to him, seeking comfort as well. It felt calming, something he had not expected.

"We don't have to fight anymore. I want you to know this Alois; you've done nothing wrong and I forgive you. I would have only acted similarly in your place." Ciel whispered, pressing his forehead to the top of Alois' head. The older boy only held tighter, gripping the back of Ciel's jacket in his fists, as if he was afraid letting go would cause him to slip back into the darkness he so feared. And there they stayed for several minutes, taking in each other's company. For those slow and lengthy seconds, Ciel felt at peace, the final mysteries of his last adventure as a human unraveled and put to bed. And here was the one person he never thought he'd see again, and never wanted to, but yet now was deeply intrigued by. For some reason, he wanted to see Alois happy. The other boy smiled so much more freely than him. He was almost jealous.

Ciel slowly loosened his grip, causing Alois to look up.

"Come with me, out of this room." He requested, standing. He put forth a hand to pull Alois to his feet. The two of them turned their attention to the phantom door that had led Ciel in the room in the first place.

"In all the time I was here I was too scared to search around. Silly of me, really." Alois muttered as Ciel pulled the door open and stepped through. He attempted to follow, but smacked straight into a barrier, invisible to them both. Alois fell to the floor, looking to Ciel with despair in his eyes.

"No! It can't be…" He gasped, fist darting forth to try to pass the barrier. It bounced back. Alarmed, Ciel returned to the room and took firm hold of Alois' hands. He backed past the door, but the soul's hands were forced out of his grip. The futility of the situation hit them both all at once and Ciel returned to Alois' side, hoping he could come up with something helpful to say to calm them both.

"I'm so sorry… Hell works in mysterious ways, and there isn't a thing we can do to prevent this. But, I promise I'll return to you. Tomorrow night. It'll be fine. And then we may speak again." Ciel tried, resting a soothing hand on Alois' shoulder. The blond nodded fervently and hugged the shorter boy tightly to him. He kissed his cheek and said "Ciel, it's a promise. Don't forget me, please. You're the last one on Earth and in Hell that I could ever trust again… That I could ever try to love again. So please don't forget me. Even though all those horrible people are gone, it still hurts. It's like putting bleach in cake. Once the taste is there, no amount of icing or anything can get rid of it entirely."

"I know…" Ciel whispered, for a lack of anything adequate to say in response.

The following night, Ciel returned to the hallway. His heart was beating in his throat, so many things he wanted to tell his new friend, so many emotions begging to be set free. Sebastian had taken notice of Ciel's sudden change in mood during the day, and asked him about it, but his master refused to speak, fearing Sebastian's reaction. The older demon would surely do something to spoil his sudden good fortune. It was like that nowadays. The butler still listened to direct orders, but often acted of his own accord to express the annoyance he felt, being tethered to Ciel's beck and call for the rest of eternity.

In the corridor, Ciel spun around, looking in the corner of his eye for the door. It was not there. Undeterred, and unwilling to break his promise, he continued to the next hallway. And the next, and the next. He scoured the mansion, always searching in his peripheral vision. He listened, waiting to hear more crying or a shout of "Ciel!" in that familiar voice with the London accent. But the door wasn't there, all the rooms silent as a crypt. The agony of loss returned to Ciel and he slumped against the nearest wall, shaking with silent rage. To lose once was hard enough, but to suffer the loss of his last glimmer of hope was too much to bear. Ciel returned to his room, stepping weakly and not really seeing anything that was in front of him. He reached his door and turned to the corridor one last time. He did not see Alois' door, only the towering, black form of Sebastian at the far end of the hall.


End file.
